Surviving Thanksgiving and the Leftovers

The holidays are upon us now, and already presenting it's challenges and temptations. Not quiet sure how I did it, but I managed to squeeze in a workout while the turkey was in the oven. I can not claim that my Thanksgiving day was healthy perfection, but I can say that in general I am proud of how I did. My sampling habits were what I relied on to get me through the day. In the morning I made sure to eat breakfast, and we skipped having snacks all together. Somehow I also managed to only have a bite of each of the three different kind of pies that I made. That is a major victory. I am a self declared carbaholic, so having stuffing and mashed potatoes in the house is awful for my self control but I only had about four bites of each and relied heavily on baked sweet potatoes, green beans and white meat turkey.

For whatever reason I thought that because Thanksgiving day was over that I would no longer have food temptations, but that pretty much ended when I opened my refrigerator on Black Friday and saw all the leftovers. I really wanted to have a piece of pie for breakfast, especially since a new recipe that I tried out (Caramel Apple Crunch Pie) had been so successful. I had two eggs and two corn tortillas instead and packed my lunch for work. Again this presented a challenge because I wanted to make a turkey sandwich with mayo and stuffing, but I figured it out.

Turkey and avocado sandwich with Superfood Salad

White Turkey meat, green beans, sweet potato

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year because it is not about commercialism or a fictional guy in a red suit, but instead it is about being grateful for all that you have. I had an abundant Thanksgiving and am thankful for all the challenges that it presented. I am thankful that I am reclaiming my health and my body, I am thankful for my new ability to go forty five consecutive minutes on the elliptical, I am thankful that I no longer enjoy carnitas like I used too, I am thankful for losing 35lbs., and making it through Thanksgiving without putting an ounce of it back on, I am thankful for my entire family, I am thankful for my soulmate/best friend Richy, I am thankful.

It's Weird to Be Wearing Skinny Jeans

After a lifetime of buying flare or boot cut jeans, I purchased my first pair of skinny jeans...ever. Now they are humble and are Mossimo brand jeans because at this stage in the game, although I really want to buy new clothes I know that it better to wait for the new wardrobe for when my weight loss is complete which is another three to six months from now. I feel weird walking around in skinny jeans, and the irony that I had to buy the curvy cut does not escape me. I will always have to buy curvy cut, genetics gave me a smallish waist, large hips, butt and thighs.

There have been many things and people that have helped me along my fitness journey, even though I have not finished yet and have loads of work to do I think it is important and perhaps even helpful for me to share what has helped me along the way. Some things may be surprising to you, others may not.

First and foremost I have had an amazing cheerleader, he has kept me accountable every step of the way and said some things that were sometimes hard to hear, but very necessary. My Richy has driven me to my classes at the YMCA, watched the babies while I worked out, moved the elliptical into the house from the garage, bought me rewards to celebrate my victory, kept my scale batteries fresh, tuned up my elliptical, shared links to my blog and the literally the list of what he has done for me to help me along the way is endless. He complemented my willpower when everyone was enjoying pizza and I was eating a salad, and is always asking where I would like to go to eat so that I don't feel limited by the menu options. It was an adjustment period for both of us though, while ordering a cake for our daughters' baby shower Richy was pointing out to me all my favorite pan dulces that I love in the bakery display case, he then got a serious look on his face and apologized for tempting me. I explained that I was not tempted but so appreciated that he is always so eager to feed me things that he knows that I enjoy, nowadays whenever we go to the mall Richy finds my favorite kiosk and purchases a large cup of fruit for me with salt and lemon for flavor. Not only do I truly enjoy eating it, but it is healthy too. To me Richy's patience and support are nothing short of amazing! Richy has always told me that I am beautiful and that did not change when I ballooned up and it has not changed now. When I asked him about how I looked before he said, "Honestly I didn't notice how big you had gotten, because I love you no matter what your size." 

Other people have helped me and supported me along the way as well, my Mom for one. She is cheering for me from afar and really wants me to share all my secrets and thoughts as I go through this whole process. My Mom knows firsthand about my lifelong struggle with my weight. Many of my co-workers have helped me as well, since we all started this fitness challenge together we have all been able to watch and learn from each other. 

I count my calories, and keep my phone handy at all times to enter meals, and work outs. I use the MyFitnessPal App for android. This program is super simple to use; you start with a base amount of calories a day, mine is 1250, (it was higher but now that I have lost weight I get less calories) and if you exercise you get to consume more calories based on the calories burned during your workout. Entering data is easy, you can search for the food consumed or simply use the barcode scanner to enter the data. I have found other apps that are helpful and that I liked, Accupedo and MapMyWalk.

My goal is to do a minimum thirty minutes on my elliptical every day. I have not always met this goal, and get pretty hard on myself whenever I make excuses not to exercise. Along with my elliptical I have a set of small hand weights for toning, a medicine ball, a yoga ball, a stick, and a belt. The stick I use to do different types of twists to help slim the waist, I could do the same exercises without it but I find that I benefit from it more if I use it. I have had a separated abdomen throughout this process that has made traditional core training difficult, I have used the belt in order to make some adaptations to exercises.

I have attended Zumba classes at the YMCA, in addition to Zumba I have taken CardioKickboxing, Yoga, and Flex Power. I have enjoyed all of these classes and look forward to attending more. Since I can't always make a Zumba class at the YMCA and the kiddos have a Wii, I have taken advantage of the situation and started using the Zumba Fitness game for Wii that Richy purchased for me. It is lots of fun and I think it helps my performance in classes.

Something a little bit unusual that has helped me significantly along the way is my Kindle Fire. In the beginning  thirty minutes on the elliptical seemed an unbearable eternity and I found that if I read a book while I was working out it helped the time pass, plus it hid the screen that was counting away the minutes of the workout. Whenever I didn't cover the screen the workout seemed to last forever. I have also used my Kindle Fire for Pinterest. On Pinterest I have found so many suggestions for mini-workouts, recipes and inspiration; a little pseudo retail therapy never hurt anyone either. To fully take advantage of my Fire's capabilities I have downloaded magazines like "Women's Health" and "Shape."

When I need little extra motivation, it is always close by. I simply have to look at my new pant size to see that what I am doing is working. Sometimes it feels like a painfully slow process, but then I see myself slipping into a size 10 for the first time since college and remember that it is all worth it. 

Every once in a while I need to remind myself to just breath. I get so focused that when results are not as quick as I would like them to be I get pretty upset. Daily reminders to just breath and do a mini-meditation on it.

One last key element to my success is simple, good training shoes that I am excited to put on every time. I love the obnoxious color combination because they seem to yell, "look at me, I'm working out!" 

I see myself needing to update this blog entry at some point when I discover new tips and tricks that have helped me succeed. I know this for sure though the scale is so close to saying 149 that I can taste it, even though when I reach that weight I still have another 25lbs to go, it will seem like such a victory!

Frivolity

On my three month anniversary of my fitness journey I have decided to set silly weight loss goals for myself.

1. To be able to wear knee high Uggs without ugly slouchyness.

I <3 These!

2. To be able to see my collar bones, I actually don't remember the last time they were visible but I'm pretty sure that it was High School.

3. To become a comfortable size 8 in jeans. 

4. To be a solid medium, I'm currently hovering between a Large and Medium.

5. When I make it into the 140's, I will buy myself a second pair of running shoes. I can't decide which pair yet but I like these two....

6. To participate and complete a Color me Rad 5K, Prevent Cancer 5K, and a Diabetes 5K.

7.  To look amazing in this dress on that special day...

Basically what I am saying that it's important to have mini-goals, long term goals and silly goals in order to keep you motivated along the way. For me I can't wait to see the 149 on my scale and every morning I close my eyes when I get on the scale in anticipation of what number will pop up. I am disappointed when I don't see it, but then tell myself, "maybe tomorrow." Set goals, write them down and try your best to impress yourself. 

Gorditas Have Skills

Due to my life as a Gordita I have some major skills. One of my skills is that I know how to remove grease stains from clothing. From being a messy and bad eater I had to master how to get those stains out of my clothes. The trick is simple, use hot water on the affected area, then use dish soap and rub it in, let it sit for about 10 minutes and then wash as normal. The stain will be gone!!! There are other methods out there, but I found this one worked great for me because it used someting that I always had on hand. Richy remarked just yesterday that it had been a long time since I had to remove grease from my clothes. I don't know if it's because I have slowed down when I eat or if my food does not have as much grease in it as it used to. I think it is probably a little bit of both.

I can also cook, it only makes sense since I like to eat so much. As I blog I have pot of homemade clam chowder on the stove. I'll be making salmon for myself. Although in the past I have reserved a cheat day just for Clam Chowder on the Wharf. I love to make all things fatty, and it tastes good too! Here is the clam chowder recipe that I use, although I have adapted it. Just in case you are taking a cheat day, or just want to make something yummy for your family or guests. I just wanted to make it for my family. I love making soups.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 carrot-diced
• 1 medium onion-diced
• 1 potato--diced
• 1 stalk of celery--diced
• 1/2 lb minced bacon
• 1 stick of butter
• 3 cloves fresh garlic--minced
• 1/2 quart (2 cups) clam juice
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 2 cups milk
• 2 cups cream
• 2 cups half-and-half
• 1/2 tsp black pepper
• 1 lb chopped clams (fresh, frozen, or canned)
• 1/2 tsp clam base (optional)

DIRECTIONS

• 1
  Place vegetables, bacon and butter in a 5 qt sauce pot. Saute over medium heat until vegetables are tender. Be careful not to brown or scorch.
• 2
  When vegetables are tender, add flour to make a roux. Cook for two minutes, allowing flour to cook while stirring occasionally.
• 3
  Add clam juice and dairy products. Stir by using a wire whisk.
• 4
  Add fresh garlic, black pepper, chopped clams and clam base. Cook over low-medium heat stirring occasionally to prevent chowder from scorching. Cook for two hours or until chowder is brought to desired thickness.

Some Gorditas have really impressive self esteem. They are proud of every curve and pound. Now I didn't fall into this category, but a lot of women do. In my opinion being happy and healthy in your body is what is most important. Sadly I know more women that put on a lot of bravado, saying that they love their curves in an attempt to cover up how they really feel about their bodies. Embrace your curves if you are truly in love with them and are healthy, if not do something to become healthy and happy. The hardest thing is starting the process knowing that in an age of instant gratification it will take some time to see results. Start anyway, your body, and your mind will thank you for it. 

Hurdler

It is my opinion that most people that have a weight problem also tend to be emotional eaters. Having a bad day? Eat a dougnut and try your best to forget that pesky electricity bill that you can't afford. I know that I looked for comfort in food.
Food also evokes feelings of nostalgia, homemade tortillas remind me being at my Grandma's house in Fremont with my entire family. I remember my Aunt Lorraine's homemade rocky road candy and my Uncle Rueben's love for giant apple pies. And of course my Grandfather with this love for certain foods and dislikes for others. Huge batches of homemade chicken noodle soup to cure a cold, buckets of ice cream to combat any sadness or depression, yup I have found comfort in food. We base entire holidays around food in some form or another: Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day, even the Fourth of July. It's no wonder that whenever we are stuggling emotionally that we tend to want to reach for food for comfort, to bring back feelings of happiness and home.

I can not say that I have completely conquered this behavior, I have been able to modify it though. Instead of reaching for a pint of Ben and Jerry's Ice cream, I will grab a Skinny Cow Truffle Mocha Ice Cream bar or better yet a piece of fruit.  I remember waking up early on Thanksgiving morning to the smell of sausage frying in preparation for the sweet and savory stuffing that my mother always prepared, huge bags of Halloween candy, the special tamales that the family would make assembly line style for Christmas, and Fourth of July bar-b-ques all are happy memories. Believe me, this is not an easy behavior to fix or modify, but if I can do it, anyone can.
I have been really lucky to not suffered from injury since I have started this whole fitness journey. I do have a separated abdomen that dictates the amount and kind of core work that I can do and that has been a huge pain in the butt, but it has not stopped me from doing cardio work. Unfortuanetly I did get the stomach flu for a few days and there was really nothing that could be done about it. I could not exercise and when I finally was better I had to start exercising again very slowly because I was so weak. It sucks to get sick and to try to lose weight and be fit, but ultimately you need to slow down, take care of yourself and just focus a bit more on your nutrition instead of your elliptical. Remember the whole idea is to improve your health, not prolong your illness. As the cold and flu season is upon us, I suspect at some point or another I will get a cold or flu. I hope that it won't derail me for too long.
One major hurdle that I have encountered is my ever changing schedule. There are times when I have to work a graveyard shift and that messes up my sleeping, eating and exercise program. I literally cried to my Richy because I was overtired and not sure what or if I should eat. When you are awake for 24+ hours it's hard to stop eating, especially if you are using it as a mechanism to stay awake. I found that my stomach was growling constantly and in my efforts to stay awake and warm at work I was exercising. Then when I would get home my willpower was not as strong as it normally is because I was so tired.
Everyones obstacles and hurdles are different and what works for me may not work for you.

The Carnitas Effect

As a recovering Gordita, I have to say that I really didn't enjoy myself being overweight. When people ask me what was wrong with you when you were overweight, I usually say "Nothing, accept how I felt about myself." Well that and the ever increasing amount of health issues that I was developing as a side effect of my weight. I remember very clearly my weigh in for the Fitness Challenge at work, the trainer takes all your measurements, calculates your frame, BMI, etc. According to my BMI when I started this journey nearly three months ago, I was "severely obese." That is a harsh statement to look at, there is no sugar coating, that is raw hard data about your body that does nothing good for your self-esteem.

We are force fed an image of beauty, one that includes an underweight model that is "heroine chic." While super skinny is beautiful, overweight is funny, lazy or low class. There is a stigma that surrounds the overweight that is blatantly unfair. I found myself caught up in it, thinking less of myself because I was overweight. My weight made me ashamed of my body. I felt shame and embarrassment almost everywhere that I went and at times it felt so bad that I literally wanted to crawl out of my own skin. I don't know that if everyone that is overweight feels the same way that I did, and sometimes still do.  I wish I could say that I was a confident woman that had been able to embrace my "curves," but I wasn't. My husbands constant reassurances that I as beautiful did not fix the turmoil that was going on inside of me.

Something as simple as ordering food was agonizing because I was afraid that the waitress was secretly judging my selection. Sure I ate out and I had more than my fair share of greasy fried goodness, but I always had this perception that everyone in the restaurant was staring at me. As a rational person I know this isn't true, I know that people were there enjoying their meals and completely oblivious to the silent battle I was having with the menu in the booth next to them. During the summer we went to Great America and the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, I decided to ride a roller coaster. Talk about a sad and depressing reality check. Now, I wasn't so big that I couldn't ride but the lap bars were very tight across my midsection making what was supposed to be a fun experience was instead embarrassing and uncomfortable. To add to my discomfort, my large hips were making it difficult to properly sit down in the cart. As the attendant passed by checking all the safety restraints I was so nervous and embarrassed and it seemed like her gaze lingered on my belly and lap bar. I wanted to cry, but instead I smiled. 

As a woman, of course I like to shop, try on and buy new clothes but I found that I didn't enjoy it too much as a Gordita. I would much rather just order online and get it over with than have to face a clerk in a store. I had ordered a ton of new clothes from one of my favorite stores online and they all fit well, I didn't have to send back a single item. I had also ordered a few things from specialty shops that did not fit like I had hoped.  Although I ordered what I thought should fit the XL was still tight, I would stretch the shirt out before putting it on so that it would hug my body so closely. I felt like a busted can of biscuits and Baby Huey all rolled into one. Today all those new clothes are in a pile to go to a thrift store because they are too big. I look forward to trying on new clothes, even if I don't actually buy any.

In order to start participating in group fitness classes I really had to step out of my comfort zone. Again I was worried that everyone would be staring at the Gordita in the class, instead of concentrating on their own workouts. I remember really specifically one lady coming up to me after the completion of one of my classes and congratulating me on finishing the Zumba class in my delicate condition. Apparently the woman thought I was pregnant. OUCH!!! Oh yeah, that stung. It was almost enough to discourage me from going back, but then I thought about it: even though I was big and looked pregnant, I was still in the class and doing way better than everyone that was sitting at home watching TV.

I know that it seems pretty self absorbed to believe that everyone is taking time out of their day to judge you and look at you like you are a side show freak but in my opinion we as a society are overly critical of the overweight. Let me rephrase that, as a society we are quick to judge everyone based on their appearance. As my body image evolves and starts becoming more positive I find that I am less judgemental than I once was, which is an interesting side effect to this whole journey.